


tiny moments

by Eudore



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Friendship/Love, M/M, a lot fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:31:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eudore/pseuds/Eudore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little compilation of moments. Romance and/or friendship. Different pairings, mostly Levi, Erwin and Mike (in different combinations).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mike couldn’t sleep. It was not only the coldness and humidity. The air was full of smells. Wet grass, body odours of the soldiers around him, dead campfires, the horses and very faint the smell of an old forest. There was also movement next to him, silent rustling. Mike inhaled deeply. Tea and soap.

“Little dude”, he said softly. The susurration stopped. “Are you cold?” He heard Levi breathing.

“Really? _Little dude_?” He sounded pissed off, but to be honest, Levi sounded very often pissed off.

Mike smiled. “You are little and you are a dude. I don’t see a problem.” Erwin, next to Levi, moved slightly and they fell silent. “Say, are you cold?”, Mike asked after a few moments.

“Freezing”, answered Levi quiet.

“Do you wanna come under my blanket? It’s warm and cozy”, offered Mike.

“The fuck? Do I look like I want to cuddle?” Mike laughed, but hushed when Hange moved a little next to him.

“Sure? I think I hear your teeth chattering.”

“We are on a manoeuvre. I am not going to cuddle with you.” He heard Levi silently snorting. “Big oaf.”

“Fine, but the offer still holds, okay?” They fell silent again, but Levi’s rustling didn’t stop. Mike considered offering his warmth again, when suddenly Erwin’s voice resonated.

“Levi, I really want to sleep. Please accept Mike’s offer or come under my blanket, but stop rustling around, okay?” Mike laughed silently and Levi groaned irritated.

“Hunk, lift your blanket.” He obeyed and Levi crawled closer. His hands felt ice cold next to Mike’s arm. Erwin shuffled closer and Levi sighed voiceless.

Way warmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Feedback is appreciated :)
> 
> http://eudore-danae.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

Mike felt hardly ever so sorry in his life.

“Oh my god, little dude”, he said upset. “I am awfully sorry.”

“It’s okay”, answered Levi and touched carefully the side of his head where Mike’s elbow had struck him. He was talking to Erwin and started gesticulating and suddenly Levi had been next to him and he had accidently hit him.

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s okay”, Levi repeated and looked up to him. “You are just way too huge.”

“Are you sure?” Mike brushed his hair aside and examined the spot. The bruise did already start swelling. “Do you wanna have some ice? Erwin?”

Erwin walked towards the kitchen. “I’m going to get you some.”

“It’s fine.” Levi pushed Mike’s hand softly away. “I am not made of fucking porcelain.”

“Your freezer is almost empty”, Erwin called from the kitchen. “You can choose between a pizza and really old chocolate ice cream.”

Mike had a fast glance at his watch. The supermarket around the corner was going to close in ten minutes. “I am going to get you something. Something like frozen peas or broccoli.” He slipped in his shoes and was almost at the door, when Levi’s small hand grabbed his wrist.

“Mike, stop acting like you knocked me out. It’s fine, goddammit.” He looked really pissed off and his frown was impressive.

“But…” Mike squirmed. “But… I am so sorry, but you are so small and the bruise is so big and…”

Levi rolled his eyes. “The fuck, man. I beat you every time we are sparring. I’m not going to die, because your big ass elbow hit my head.”

“I’m really sorry.” Mike slouched his shoulders. “Are you sure that you don’t wanna have something cold?”

Levi paused. “I wanna have some vanilla ice cream but not for my head. But you don’t have to-”

“You get whatever you want.” Mike was half out of the door, when Erwin poked his head out of the kitchen.

“I know, you didn’t hit my head, but can I please have some fresh chocolate ice cream? The old one tastes horridly.”

Mike ran all the way to the supermarket and later that night they ended up in front of the TV watching a very bad horror movie. They ate ice cream and after a little argument Levi let Mike put a bag with frozen peas on his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi really liked his apartment. He liked the huge windows, the big bathtub, the beautiful wooden floor, the little balcony with enough space for a sun lounger, the chic black kitchen, the huge bedroom and the fact that he needed only fifteen minutes with the bike to work. His apartment was wonderful, but it had one major flaw: it was an attic flat. The inspection had been in winter and Levi hadn’t even thought about it.

Until the first summer in his new apartment.

It was unbelievable hot. He could flee by day to his nicely temperately job, but the nights were horridly. It was nearly eleven o’clock and he had to get up early for work but it was too hot to sleep.

He scuffled slowly to the tiny thermometer next to the balcony door and sighed desperately.

36 ° Celsius.

He would be charred in the morning. He sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. Everything felt sticky and disgusting and Levi closed his eyes tiredly. How the fuck was he supposed to survive a whole summer in this furnace.

He jumped when suddenly loud music blustered from underneath his apartment. His fucking neighbours. Levi was pissed off, tired and probably dehydrated. He sprung to his feet and stomped to the door. It was even hotter in the staircase. He rumbled to the floor under his apartment and found the guilty ones fast. He pounded against the door and was ready to flip out. The door opened and a huge blondie looked at him surprised.

“What the fuck are you even thinking?”, started Levi. “I have to work tomorrow and I’m not in the fucking mood to grapple with you bullshit! Silence this fucking music or I’m going to do it myself and I’m not going to be _gently_!” The blonde looked at him with wide eyes. A second blonde, even taller, appeared behind him and looked even more amazed.

“Okay”, said the first one. “I am very sorry, but, you know…”

“Wrong apartment”, added the second one and pointed at the floor.

There was a long silence. With the door open Levi could hear that they were right. Words could not describe his embarrassment.

“Oh”, was his silly answer. “Oh… I’m… I didn’t want to…”

“It’s okay”, said the taller guy and smiled. The other one nodded.

“No, I am sorry”, replied Levi and bit his underlip. “I am just… It’ so hot and…”

“Are you fine? You look not really good”, asked the one, who opened the door.

Levi shook his head. “I live in the attic flat and…”

“It’s really hot?”, helped the taller one. Levi nodded and both stepped aside. “Come in. We have air conditioning.”

Levi hesitated but then he felt a small air draft. Chilly. In the next moment he stepped inside the foreign apartment and nearly started crying in joy. It was so chilly.

 

His both hosts –Mike and Erwin- offered him something to eat or drink, but he just sat on their huge couch and savoured the temperature.

“Sure that you don’t wanna have something?”, asked Mike and pointed at his pizza. It looked really good but Levi was way too comfortable to move ever again. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

“Drink something, okay?” Erwin handed him a big glass with water and lemon and Levi took it. “You look really dehydrated.”

“Do you want me to have a talk with the neighbours?”, Mike asked between two bites. The music was still very loud.

“I don’t fucking care…” Levi drank his water and tried very hard to not fall asleep on the comfy couch. Mike and Erwin laughed and after finishing their late dinner they sat next to him.

“How hot is it in your apartment?” Mike still seemed to be hungry and started eating an impressive amount of chips.

“36 ° Celsius”, answered Levi and closed his eyes.

“Oh my. Do you want to sleep here tonight?” Erwin smiled understanding and Levi nodded slowly. Yes, he wanted to sleep on this wonderful couch, preferably for the rest of summer.

“Okay, do you want me to set an alarm for you? You said, you have to work tomorrow.” Mike looked at him.

“Six o’clock, please”, answered Levi and fell asleep within a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Feedback is appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin week, day 2: modern au

Levi loved a lot about Erwin. He loved the way Erwin smiled when he lifted up the neighbour’s kids and played with them. He loved how he frowned while reading a novel. He loved his long goodbye kisses even when he was late for work. He loved his dimples. He loved his politeness and kind-heartedness. He loved how his eyes widened when they saw a shooting star. He loved that Erwin didn’t had to write birthdays down to remember them. He loved that he knew really everything about elephants, because he loved them since his childhood. He loved that Erwin never laughed about him unless Levi laughed himself. He loved his bright eyes and light lashes. He loved his warm and large hands.

And he loved the fact that Erwin was a huge scaredy-cat. Of course Erwin did not admit this but he was. 

“Are you sure you wanna watch this?”, asked Levi and arched an eyebrow. “Hanji said it is really creepy.”

“You want to watch it so much. Don’t worry, I’m fine”, responded Erwin and smiled at him. Levi wanted to smooch his dimples. 

“Okay.”

One hour, three ghosts, one decapitation, and a lot gore later, Levi was sure that Erwin wasn’t fine at all. He sat tensed next to him and covered his face every few seconds. 

“You wanna stop?” Levi ruffled his light hair. “You look terrified.”

“It’s spooky but I am fine”, answered Erwin. A desperate attempt to maintain his dignity. Levi sighed.

“Yes? I am afraid as shit.” Levi wasn’t afraid at all. He knew it and Erwin knew it, but he played along.

“Oh, poor darling. You want to stop?” There was so much hope in Erwin’s voice.

“Yes, I don’t wanna have nightmares.” Levi never had nightmares after horror movies. 

Erwin powered the DVD player off as fast as he could. “You can snuggle up to me when you have nightmares.” They both knew that it was going to be the other way around. 

“Thanks my dear. What would I do without you?”

Erwin beamed at him and they watched a harmless documentation about snow leopards before going to bed.

 

Several hours later Levi was stirred awaken by Erwin. 

“What’s wrong?”, asked Levi sleepy. “Do you have nightmares?”

Erwin smiled awkward at him. “Uhm... It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“You have to pee.” Levi sat up. After all these years he knew Erwin’s countenance when he had to pee. They were one of those awkward couples.  
His boyfriend nodded embarrassed. “I shouldn’t watch horror movies.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Levi stood up and stretched tiredly. “Come on, babe. I protect you from the ghosts and monsters.”  
Together they trudged through the dim corridor. 

“I am way bigger than you. I shouldn’t be afraid like a kid.” Erwin sounded like his pride was wounded. Levi patted his butt kindly.

“It’s fine. I am afraid of elevators. That’s even more stupid. Don’t pout, big boy. It’s fine.” Levi was kind enough to reach into the dark bathroom to switch the light on. “Take a fast piss. It’s fucking cold.”

Erwin smiled at him in a way that melted something in Levi’s chest. He had no problem with guiding him at night through the dark hallway as long as he could see this smile. Even if he freezed.  
“You know that I am fucking in love with you, don’t you?” He leaned against the bathroom door. He heard the toilet flushing and the water faucet, before Erwin opened the door. 

“Me too”, he said and hugged Levi tightly.

“You are in love with you, too?”, teased Levi. Erwin’s hugs were always warm and comfy.

“Of course. I mean, look at me. Who wouldn’t love a grown up man who is too afraid to go alone to the bathroom.” They flitted back to the bedroom and under the warm blanket. 

“You know, I am wide awake now.” Levi felt for Erwin’s thigh under the blanket. Erwin grinned at him.

“Oh, really? That’s- oh my fucking god!” Erwin nearly jumped out of the bed and gave Levi almost a heart attack.

“The fuck!?” 

Erwin –as pale as the moon- pointed to the ceiling above their heads.  
“A spider? Are you shitting me?” Levi sighed and stood up. To Erwin’s defence, it was a huge spider. “I’m too small. Take me on your shoulders.”  
There was a time when Levi was really pissed off at nights like this one. But after eleven years with Erwin –his fearful big dummy- he didn’t waste time on nagging. He was cold and wanted under his warm blanket.  
Erwin stared at him and then very slowly at the spider.  
“I am too small”, said Levi again. “I can’t catch it.”

His boyfriend cleared his throat. “Swear that you are not going to let it fall on my head.”

“I am not going to let it fall on your head”, said Levi patiently. He knew that Erwin had an ugly childhood experience with his parent’s attic and a spider nidus. “Come one, babe. I’ll catch it and bring it out. Hm?”

“I am such a wimp. Sorry.” Erwin helped him on his shoulders. He sounded embarrassed.

“No, you are no wimp. And now hold still.”

A spider rescue mission later they laid again in bed and Levi fondled Erwin’s hair.  
“I am a wimp.” Erwin squeezed him tight to his chest. He was way too tired to mess around. 

“No, you are not and now shut up.” Levi’s voice was muffled against Erwin’s chest. “And even if you were a wimp... nobody knows and I don’t give a fuck.” He patted Erwin’s butt again. “And now I want to sleep.”

“Okay.” Erwin kissed his forehead a few times. “But...”

“What? Don’t tell me you have to pee again.”

Erwin smiled embarrassed and Levi groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Feedback is appreciated :)
> 
> http://eudore-danae.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was pleasantly warm. Birds were singing and little fluffy bumblebees flew from flower to flower. It was one of their very rarely days off.   
Levi had slept longer than usual, read the book Erwin had given him for a bit and had paid his mare Esther a little visit. Now he walked towards the little lake near headquarter. He could already see Mike from far away. He laid on the shore with his lower half of his body in the water. His eyes were closed. Erwin was swimming and waved.

“Levi”, he said and Mike opened his eyes.

“Hello little dude.” He smiled at him, before sitting up and joining Erwin in the deeper water. “Wanna come in?”

Levi shook his head. “Enjoying your free day?”

Erwin nodded. “Yes, it is very nice. Are you sure? The water is really nice.” 

“No, thank you.” Levi took his shoes off and sat down on the shore. The water felt chilly and pleasant at his feet. 

“Hey, Erwin”, said Mike and his mischievous smile was alarming.

“Mike, please”, answered Erwin and retreated. “We are way too old for-”

He made a little surprised sound when Mike sprang suddenly at him. Levi watched with a frown how Mike dunked him.   
“Dear rose.” Erwin surfaced and coughed a bit. “Yes, you are still way stronger than me, I understand that, Mike. But- no-” Mike laughed and caught him again.

“Don’t drown him”, said Levi. “We still need him.”

Mike left him alone and retreated. Erwin gave him an annoyed look, but it wasn’t really harsh, because the corners of his mouth twitched.   
“You know, I’m way too old for this.” He brushed his golden hair aside.

“I’m a year older than you”, protested Mike and laughed when Erwin spattered him with water. “Come on, we expect more from you, Commander.”

Erwin rolled his eyes. “If I was still a rookie, I would tell you to fuck yourself.”

“But since you are an adult and our commander, you won’t?” Mike grinned at him and Erwin laughed. He didn’t laugh often and it was such a nice sight.

“You need more days off, old man”, spoke Levi and Erwin nodded.

“You are right. Maybe in another life.”

They fell silent for a moment and the cheerful atmosphere was lost for a few seconds until Erwin cleared his throat. “Let’s change the topic.”

“Yes. Levi, come in.” Mike swam nearer and smiled. “It’s really nice.”

The water looked really appealing, but Levi shook his head. “No, I don’t wanna.”

Erwin darted a look at him. “The water is not deep at all near the shore.”

Mike shot a puzzled glance at him. Then he looked at Levi. “Don’t tell me, you can’t swim.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Are you shitting me? I grew up in the underground. Where the fuck was I supposed to swim as a brat?”

“Sorry, you are right.” Mike left the water and sat down beside him, not without dripping water at him. Then he looked at him. “Come on, little dude.”

“What?” Levi frowned. “I don’t want to.”

“Come on”, repeated Mike and nudged him softly with his shoulder. “I look out for you.”

“No way”, answered Levi and looked up to him. “No way, Mike.”

He sighed. “Okay, little dude.” Then he nudged him again. “Do you wanna go for a drink in the village?”

“I don’t want to interrupt you”, said Levi and stood up. “You looked quite busy drowning the old man.”  
The blond guys laughed and Erwin left the water, too.

“It’s fine. Firstly, I don’t want to get drowned and secondly, I have a lot of work to do.”

“Oh no, you are coming with us.” Mike gave him a friendly smack on the shoulder. “I invite you, both of you.”

“You don’t have to”, answered Levi. He waited for them to towel themselves and put their clothes back on.

“But I want to.” Mike patted his shoulder. “Let’s invite Hange and Nanaba, too.”  
Levi shot a last glance at the lake and followed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff everywhere :D  
> Thank you for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin week, day 2: modern au  
> (I just love modern aus)

It was something between funny and sad. Still Levi couldn’t stop watching.

“Do you need help, hun?” he asked seemingly casual. 

Erwin furrowed his brows and slowly shook his head. “No, darling, I don’t need your help.”   
Levi nodded slowly and supported himself on the shopping cart. Erwin kept trying to read the ingredient list on the bottling jar of spaghetti sauce.

He knew it was mean, but he couldn’t stop himself.  
“And, can I eat it or not?”, he asked while having a look at their grocery list.

Erwin shot him a short glance, before putting the jar back in the shelf.  
“Unfortunately, no. There’s cream in it”, he answered way too calm.

“Oh, really?” Levi looked at him and then he pointed at another jar. “What’s with this one? I would really like to have some spaghetti sauce for days, when we don’t have time to cook.” Erwin’s eyelid twitched slightly. He was getting angry, because he exactly knew what Levi was doing. Meanwhile, Levi was really entertained. He watched him how he started to hold the jar as far away as possible and stared at the ingredients list. Levi gave him a few seconds.  
“And?”, he asked serenely. “Can I eat it?”

“Yes”, answered Erwin and handed him the jar. “It’s fine.”

“Oh, yes?” Levi putted it slowly in the shopping cart. “I can eat it? No lactose?”

Erwin hesitated before answering. “No lactose.”

“How nice”, replied Levi. “Finally a spaghetti sauce I’m allowed to eat. No stomach cramps afterwards.” He nudged Erwin softly. “No runs. That’s really nice. Do you remember the last time I accidently ate lactose?” He looked up at Erwin. “Oh, I was so sick… How long was I sick? I don’t remember, Erwin?”

“Three day”, answered Erwin and took a few steps before stopping. He took the jar back in his hand and stared again at it. Then he sighed and handed it to Levi. “Have a look yourself.”

Levi didn’t take it. “Why should I? You checked, didn’t you?” Levi was a patient man. He could play this game all day long.

Erwin pressed his lips together, before he rubbed his face and groaned. “Okay, you win. I have an understanding.”

Levi tilted his head a bit. “I have no idea what you are talking about, Erwin.”

“You know exactly what I mean. I need glasses. Okay, I admit, I need glasses. Are you happy now?” He looked annoyed.

“Yes”, answered Levi triumphantly. “I’m calling the ophthalmologist and make an appointment for you.” He took the jar out of Erwin’s hand and shot a fast glance at it. “Milk powder! Do you want to kill me? Put it back and now stop pouting.” He nudged him gently and Erwin had to smile.

“Sorry that I was so stubborn”, he said. “I just don’t want glasses.”

“But you are getting some”, answered Levi and tiptoed a little. “Come here.”

They kissed between jars and noodles and three weeks later Erwin got a pair of subdued black glasses. They suited him well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Have a nice day :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikeri week, day 1: modern au, domestic

It had been a long morning. Levi managed all the housework. He had cleaned the entire house, did the laundry, baked a cake for Hange’s birthday tomorrow, weeded the garden, picked all strawberries and made some marmalade.  
He sat down with a sigh and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Then he heard the front door unlocking.  
“What the fuck are you doing here this early?”, he asked frowning and got up.

“Hello to you too”, answered Mike serenely and took off his jacket. “Hey hun, what did you do all day?” He beamed at Levi.

Levi ignored his question. “Why are you home so early? Did something happen?”

“The circular saw stopped working. I tried to repair it, but it didn’t work. Therefore I went home. Hange said they are going to take care of it later”, replied Mike and smiled at him. “You smell nice.”

“I always smell nice”, responded Levi and smoothed the wrinkles of Mike’s shirt.

“That’s right.” Mike bended down and kissed him on the cheek. “You smell extra nice today.” He pressed his nose in Levi’ hair and sniffed. “Fruity.” He gave him a second kiss on the other cheek. Levi petted his chest and his mouth corners twitched.

“What do you want for lunch?”, asked Levi and pushed him softly aside, then he went to the kitchen.

“As you know, I eat everything”, answered Mike and followed him. “I wanna help you.”

“You don’t have to.” Levi looked up to him and opened the fridge. “Vegetable lasagna?” 

“Sounds nice. I wanna help you”, repeated Mike and caressed his nape and shoulders. His huge hands were warm and a bit coarse. He watched Levi taking different sorts of vegetables out of the fridge and putting them in the sink to wash them. He hugged him from behind. “Do you want me to cut something?”

Levi leaned back against his broad chest. “No. You are always cutting yourself.”

“That’s not true. I’m carpenter!”, protested Mike amused.

“Yes, but you are always cutting yourself, when you handle something smaller than a stroke saw.” Levi looked up to him, again. “Always.”

“Not always.” Mike’s big hands wandered over his chest. “You smell so nice.” He couldn’t resist and smelled at him again. “Did you pick the strawberries?”

“Yes and I made marmalade.” Levi started cutting the vegetables in perfect small slices and cubes. 

“And… you baked something.” Mike hugged him tighter. “Aww, why do you smell always so nice?”

“At least one of us has to”, answered Levi dryly and Mike laughed.

“Come on, that’s so mean.” He gave him a kiss on the hair. “But I understand the hint. I am going to take a shower.”

“Hurry up or I am going to eat without you”, said Levi. “You always take forever.”

“Not true”, answered Mike and squeezed him gently a last time. He took a fast shower, not without noticing that Levi had cleaned the bathroom and probably the rest of the house.

“I feel bad that you do everything in the house”, he said after re-entering the kitchen. Levi sat at the table Mike timbered a few years ago and drank tea. The lasagna was in the oven. 

“Nah, you don’t have to.”

Mike joined him. “But I do. You are working, too. Why don’t you just leave something over for me to do?”

Levi stopped him with a wave of his hand. “You work more and I like cleaning. It’s fine.”

“Sure?”, asked Mike. He leaned back for a few seconds, before he bend down and took one of Levi’s feet. “Okay, if you don’t want me to help, then let me do this.” He started massaging gently and Levi sighed. 

“That’s nice.”

Mike smiled at him. After a while they moved to the couch and Mike kept coddling him until Levi nearly fall asleep.  
In the end they forgot the lasagna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikeri week, day 5: scars / insecurities

It has been a wonderful evening. They had watched a movie, dined in a nice Italian restaurant, had taken a walk through the park and in the end, they had been lucky enough to see noctilucent clouds. Mike had drove him home and Levi had asked, if he wanted to drink something before leaving.  
Almost immediately they had started kissing, although his plan had been differently.

Mike wasn’t the problem. They were dating for nearly three months and Levi liked him more with every day. He was a friendly, kind-hearted guy with a beautiful character. They shared a lot of interests, for example hiking, cooking, and jogging.

He knew, he shouldn’t, but he kept kissing him, caressed his hair, stroked his nape. In the end Mike laid almost on top of him on Levi’s old couch. He was a good kisser. Everything was fine, until Mike’s warm fingers tried crawling under his shirt. Levi nearly jumped and clutched defending his shirt.  
Mike looked at him in surprise and moved away.

“I am sorry, Levi”, he said and scratched awkwardly the back of his head. “I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“No.” Levi sat up slowly and felt his face redden. “No, it’s not your fault. It’s…” He fell silent and avoided looking at him. “It’s complex.”

“You wanna wait?”, asked Mike and darted a short look at Levi. “That’s no problem.”

“No, I don’t wanna wait, but…”, Levi searched for words and closed his eyes for a moment. “I don’t know how to say it.”

Mike’s huge hand danced over his back. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine. We can just wait. Please don’t feel uneasy.”

Levi looked at him and nodded slowly. “It’s a tough topic.”

Mike nodded and put his arm around Levi’s shoulders. “Another time. How about Netflix and chill, but really chill?”

Levi snorted. “Fine.”

They watched one of Levi’s favourite movies – _V for Vendetta_ \- and Mike kept ruffling his hair. Levi wanted to talk to him, but he was fucking afraid. What was he supposed to do, when he would react like his first boyfriend after his coming out? He hadn’t known and had left after Levi had told him everything. He had still problems to cope with this incident. Of course it hadn’t been the only one, but a reaction like this was way worse when it came from a beloved person. He didn’t want to tell him, but on the other hand, he had to do it any time soon. He closed his eyes for a moment. Mike was a wonderful guy.

“Mike?”, he said softly and kept looking at his hands.

“Yeah?” He caressed his hair. “What is it?”

“I have some scars, really big scars”, began Levi and shot a glance at him. Mike was looking at him.

“Okay”, he answered and fell silent for a few seconds. “Scars?”

Levi tilted his head. “I… I had an operation.” He hesitated, but after a moment he pulled off his shirt.

Mike frowned and his gaze darted for a short moment over Levi’s body until he found the scars. Two slightly curved lines on his chest. Mike understood very fast. His face stayed calm and he reached carefully out. His warm finger’s danced over the scars and then his look searched for Levi’s eyes. “Did that hurt?”

This wasn’t the answer Levi was expecting, but he nodded. “Yeah, but it’s fine.”

“You’re transgender, right?”, asked Mike and scratched his head again. “Female to male, right?”

Levi frowned and nodded. “You are quite familiar with the topic.”

Mike took his hand. “I… I- you know, I didn’t want to upset you, so I said nothing.” He kissed the back of Levi’s hand.

“What are you talking about?”, asked Levi confused.

“I…”, began Mike. “You know, our hiking trip? You were searching for firewood and I cut myself really bad while opening the can with our lunch. Normally I have always dressing material with me, but I forgot it this time.” Of course, Levi remembered this day. When he came back, Mike had cut off a piece of his shirt and had bandaged his hand. “I thought, maybe you have something with you and I had a look in your bag and I found your… I found your, you know, your stuff.” Levi stared at him.

“You mean, my… my tampons?” Levi’s menstruation had stopped a few months before –thank to the hormone therapy- but he was still paranoid enough to take hygiene products with him. “You… you knew it? All the time?” Their trip had been shortly after they met.

Mike nodded slowly. “I also saw your hormones. I am really, _really_ sorry. I didn’t want to invade your privacy. I was just searching for some dressing material. But, later I googled a lot and read a lot about the topic”, he said and kept caressing his hand.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

Mike shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t want to upset you. Therefore I waited until you said something. I was afraid that you would panic or something. You are so often stressed.” He smiled at him and Levi had no idea what he should say. They fell silent for some long moments, until Levi cleared his throat.

“So… it’s fine?”

Mike nodded. “Yes.”

Levi hesitated then he looked up to him. “Thank you.”

Mike dragged him in a long and warm hug. Afterwards they talked the whole night. Mike asked a lot and Levi told him about the bullying in school, his coming-out and his operation.  
He left at dawn and Levi went to bed. He thought about their conversation and felt truly relieved for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that I offended nobody. I gave my best to write authentically about this topic. If I made a mistake or hurt somebody unintented, please don’t hesitate and send me a message. I am really willing to cut out any mistakes. Thank you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikeri week, day 7: new beginnings  
> (it's a bit less fluffy today, be warned)

Mike didn’t remember when it started. Their relationship had lost its ease one day. The infatuation decreased gradually and arguments increased. The things he had loved in the beginning started annoying him. The fact that they both weren’t good with words made it even more difficult. Whenever they tried to talk about it they started quarrelling in the end.

Levi started to stay longer at work, Mike left earlier in the morning. They still slept in the same bed, but Mike stopped putting his arm around Levi and Levi turned his back to Mike throughout the whole night.

Sometimes they tried to act like nothing was happening. They went out dining in a nice restaurant, watched a movie at home, slept with each other. And afterwards there was still this barrier between them.

And then Levi left.

It wasn’t a surprise but Mike still ended up sobbing in front of the empty wardrobe. Erwin moved in for a few weeks and took care of him. He felt better gradually, but he still missed Levi every day.

He knew that it was a shitty idea, but he still picked his phone up one night and typed Levi’s number. Erwin slept on the couch and would have probably prevented this desperate act, but now there was nobody to stop him.  
Levi answered the call after a few seconds.

“ _Mike_ ”, he said. He sounded tired, but not like he had been asleep. It was past midnight.

“Hello”, Mike answered and stayed silent for a few seconds. “How are you?”

Levi didn’t answer immediately. “… _I don’t know. Not very good. You_?”

“Same”, replied Mike and felt his voice getting thick. “It’s tough without you.”

Levi sounded somehow smaller than normally. “ _Same_ ”, he echoed. “ _But…_ ”

“Yes?” Mike looked at his knees. “What is it?”

“ _I need room to breathe. It… was suffocating in the last weeks_ ”, he answered silent and sounded so unhappy that Mike’s chest started aching.

He sniffled. “I see.”

They fell silent for some long moments, before Levi took a deep breath.  
“ _Did you go to Erwin’s or are you alone_?”

“He came over and sleeps on the couch.” Mike rummaged one-handed through the drawer until he found some handkerchiefs and blew his nose. “You know him. He takes care of everything. Where are you?”

“ _On Petra’s couch_ ”, answered Levi. “ _Mike..._ ”

“It’s over, isn’t it?”, he asked and suddenly he was crying.

“ _Mike_ ”, Levi repeated. “ _Mike.._.”

Mike rallied a bit, but his voice was still thick. “I don’t want it to be over.”

“ _Me neither_ ”, answered Levi. “ _But… I need more room._ ” Hope. Not a lot, but at least something.

“Okay”, said Mike. “That’s fine. But… how much room?”

Levi was quiet for a few seconds. “ _I’m not going to move back in_.”

Mike pressed his lips together. “O-okay”, he answered silently. He shot a look at the empty half of their bed. His bed, now.

“ _Just gimme some time, okay_?” Levi sounded very tiredly and Mike felt like it was his fault.

“You get as much time as you want.” His voice was almost back to normal. “I love you.”

“ _I love you, too_ ”, answered Levi and sighed. “ _So much._ ”

 

They tried fixing it. Levi stayed at Petra’s apartment, but they started dating again, slowly. They met for lunch, made a little walk or tried out something new together, like cooking class.

They kissed for the first time on their second eighth date, four months after the break-up. It was Levi’s initiative. He tiptoed a little and his lips brushed over Mike’s jawline, whose eyes closed. He dragged him in a hug and wrapped his arms around Levi’s slim form.

“We can do this, right? Have a new start, right?”

“I hope so”, said Levi silently in his chest and looked up to him.

“Me, too”, answered Mike softly and kissed him on the head. “We give each other more room and then… it’s going to work. I’m sure.”

“I am sorry that I was such an asshole”, said Levi suddenly and hugged him tighter. It was difficult for him; he wasn’t good with words and describing his feelings.

They were standing in the staircase of their apartment- no, Mike’s apartment- and were fortunately alone.

“No, don’t say that.” Mike rubbed his back. “I am sorry, too. I was worse than you.”

Levi’s head nestled up to his chest. “No, you weren’t.” Mike wanted to answer, but suddenly they heard voices and Levi stepped back. “Wanna go inside the apartment?” Mike nodded and took his hand.

They took the last two staircases silently and Mike opened the door.  
“We are both motivated, we can do that.” Levi took off his shoes and looked up to him. “Right?”

“Right”, answered Mike and bend down a bit. “May I?”

Levi didn’t answer, but kissed him.

They could do this. They could start over. To a new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment is this time less tiny than usual.   
> Happy halloween :)

Erwin looked disgruntled in the mirror.  
“I look like an idiot”, he said and shot Mike a look. “Take at least this terrible parrot off.”

“Erwin”, answered Mike and patted his shoulder. “You are a beast of a man. Calm down.” He smiled sweet-tempered at him. Mike was dressed up as Hercules. Erwin darted a glance at his ripped arms and felt even worse. His right arm started hurting a bit, although there wasn’t anymore an arm, which could hurt. He didn’t want to go to the party but Mike showed up with this ridiculous pirate-costume and now he was wearing a fake parrot on his healthy shoulder, an eye patch and Mike’s old boots. 

“Erwin”, repeated Mike. “Come, we have a little drink, say hello to Nana and Hange and then we go home and watch some shitty movies. What do you think?” He beamed at him.

“You don’t have to leave with me so early”, answered Erwin quietly and looked at his feet.

“Don’t worry, it’s no big deal. We watch some shitty movies and eat pizza or something. The parrot is funny. Do you really want me to take it off?” He patted him on the back. Erwin shook his head.

“It’s fine.”  
They left and walked to the tram stop. This was his first time going out after the accident. He just wanted back to his couch but he would have one drink for Mike’s sake.  
They weren’t the only dressed up persons in the tram. A Snow-white darted a look at Mike and smiled at him. He looked quite pleased and leaned over to Erwin. “The ladies love Hercules.”

Erwin snorted. “Don’t be smug about it.”

Mike laughed and looked at the parrot on Erwin’s shoulder. “I think we should call him Eugene.”

“Okay”, answered Erwin leaned back. He was so tired.

“Does your arm hurt?” Mike noticed, of course he did.

“A bit, but its fine.” He smiled at him. Mike was his best friend since nearly fifteen years.  
They fell silent until they left the tram and walked the past hundred metres to Nanaba’s apartment. The air was fresh and cold and their breaths danced white and heavy in front of their mouths. It was a starry night and Erwin looked at Ursa Major, before they entered the building. He thought about the telescope in his wardrobe. He was sure that Mike would accompany him to his favourite spot outside the city if he asked him. He couldn’t assemble his telescope with only one hand. He sighed and followed Mike upstairs.  
Mike shot him a smile and knocked. Nanaba opened after a few seconds. “Hello, my lady.”

“Hey!” She beamed at them and threw her arms around Erwin. “You are here!”

Hange showed up next to them and they both started kissing his cheeks.  
“Oh my.” Erwin smiled. His friends were always wonderful, but after the accident they were even lovelier. “Hello to you, too.”

Mike cleared his throat. “Hello”, he repeated and smiled amused.

“Are you a gladiator?”, asked Nanaba and he caught her in his arms. She smiled at him and hugged him tight. They had been a couple for twelve of the fifteen years Erwin knew Mike. The breakup had been quite dramatic and they both had needed nearly a year, but now they were friends again and Erwin was very happy about it. He knew that his accident had played a role.

“Hercules”, corrected Mike and bent down a bit, because Hange wanted to kiss him on the cheek, too. They were dressed up as a witch, while Nanaba was Thor.

They dragged them inside the crowded apartment. Loud music was playing and everything was fancifully decorated. There were everywhere spider webs, little skeletons, spiders and a lot more. Erwin saw a brain floating in an illuminated glass and some home-made ghosts with glowing eyes. Someone wrote a dark message with glow-in-the-dark colour on the mirror in the hall.

“This was a lot of work, wasn’t it?”, asked Erwin and smiled when Hange gave him a drink; alcohol-free, because of his medicine. It was blood red and tasted like raspberry.

“Yes, but it was a lot of fun. Nana’s colleagues helped a lot.” They pointed at Petra and Rico, who were talking to Nana’s neighbour Carla. Nana was working as a programmer in a big IT company, while Hange was neurobiologist.

The music was in the living room a lot louder and people were dancing in the middle of the room. Erwin knew the most of them and felt slightly uncomfortable when they shot him looks. He looked way worse than in the past and he knew it. He was thinner, paler, and had dark circles under his eyes. Mike said sometimes that he laughed way less now but he and Nanaba and Hange seemed to be only ones of his friends, who weren’t bothered by his changes.

Erwin decided to flee into the kitchen. Some of his old fellows looked like they wanted to talk to him and he wasn’t very keen about it. He was still certified unfit for work, left rarely his home and had in general not a lot to talk about. The most people he knew from his old live reacted with pity and he didn’t need that right now. He could live with compassion but please no pity.

Mike looked in his direction and was so kind to head Nile off who was walking towards Erwin.  
Time flew and two hours went by and Erwin only talked a few times with Hange and her friend Petra and after a while he looked out for Mike.

In the end he found him wildly kissing with Nanaba in a corner in the hall and sighed. So much for that. He wanted to leave them alone, but suddenly Nanaba looked over Mike’s shoulder and saw him.  
“Erwin”, she said and Mike smiled awkward at him.

“You wanna go home?”, he asked and scratched the back of his head. He didn’t look like he wanted home. Not at all.

“No”, answered Erwin and added way quieter: “Come on, stop talking to me and keep doing what you are… doing.” Nanaba was so kind and pretended like she heard nothing.

“But I promised that we go home after a drink and it’s already way later”, answered Mike likewise silent. “Are you fine? You are pale.”

“Mike”, whispered Erwin and raised his eyebrows. “I know that you want her back. Go on, I am leaving alone and we see each other tomorrow.”

“You sure? But I promised.”

Erwin looked him deadpan in the eyes and Nanaba started laughing.   
“Thanks, Erwin”, she said and took Mike’s hand. Erwin tried very hard not to grin when his ears turned bright red. “Come, Hange said it’s a starry night. Let’s go outside.”

Mike shot him a last happy look and followed her. Erwin’s smiled disappeared when the door closed behind them. He turned around and wanted to say goodbye to Hange when he nearly run into somebody. His counterpart was way smaller than Erwin and his shoulder hit him quite hard.

“I am so sorry”, said Erwin and examined him. He didn’t know him. Dark hair, slim figure, dark grey eyes. He was dressed up as a vampire and was quite attractive.

“No problem.” The man walked towards Petra, who hugged him gushing. She seemed to be slightly drunk. Erwin watched them for a moment, when suddenly Hange was standing next to him.

“That’s Levi. Hey, Levi, you fucker, come here and say hello to my friend Erwin!”, they shouted and the man called Levi rolled his eyes and left Petra, after she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Don’t call him fucker. I fucking love this fucker!”, she said and laughed.

“Hello, Erwin”, said Levi bored and rolled his eyes again, when Hange gave him a kiss, too. He had now lipstick in two different colours on his cheeks. “Why the fuck is everybody kissing me?”

“Why not”, answered Hange and hugged him tightly. “Erwin, this is my favourite fucker.” Levi turned his head a bit so that his face didn’t end up at their boobs.

“Would you please take your tits out of my face, for fucks sake?”

Erwin laughed and didn’t know what to say. Hange seemed to be a lot more drunk than he thought before.  
“Levi, you wanna say hello to Mike, too?”, they asked and now started to hug Erwin tightly. At least his face was out of their breasts range.

“You mean the gladiator? He is messing around with Nanaba”, Levi answered and Hanji gaped at him.

“What? Oh my god, I have to tell Petra. Petra!”, they shouted and stumbled away.

Erwin looked at him. He was really attractive. “Well, how are you?”, he asked.

Levi snorted. “I have too much lipstick in my face”, he said and looked up to Erwin. “Nice parrot.”

“His name is Eugene”, answered Erwin before he could think of a better reply.

“My uncle had a friend named Eugene”, said Levi and looked for a short moment in the distance. “I hated that asshole. What did you do to your arm? Is it under your shirt? Looks quite uncomfortable.” He shot a look at Erwin and went to the kitchen. Erwin followed him.

“There isn’t an arm anymore”, he answered without hesitance.

Levi froze and looked up to him. “I am sorry, that was awkward.”

“No problem”, replied Erwin. Levi’s eyes had the colour of thunderclouds. “Are you into vampires?” He had no idea what to say. His last date was years ago.

“I like Anne Rice”, answered Levi and took one of Hange’s creepy cocktails. It was as blood red as Erwin’s raspberry drinks. “Bloody Mary?”

“No, thank you.”

They fell silent for a moment and Levi shot a look at Petra. He looked like he wanted to go back to her, so Erwin said something.  
“Do you know that it’s starry outside? You can see Orion and his belt; Mintaka, Alnilam and Alnitak”, he said and smiled awkward.

Levi looked up to him. “Are you an astronomer or something?”

“No, I am mathematician, but my parents were astronomers”, he answered and Levi looked slightly interested.

“Do we have to go outside to see Orion? It’s fucking freezing.”

“No, I think the bedroom is in the right cardinal direction.”

Erwin led the way and Levi followed. “Is it okay when we go in there? I know Nanaba barely.”

“I am sure that it’s fine”, answered Erwin and opened the curtains. Then he went to switch off the light. It was quite bright outside but they could still see at least some stars. “That’s Betelgeuse”, he said and pointed at one of the brightest stars of the constellation. “It’s a red supergiant.”

“I have no idea what that means”, replied Levi deadpan and Erwin laughed.  
They started talking and Erwin told him more about the different constellations and after a while Levi talked about his job as courier. Time went by and they ended up sitting on Nana’s bed talking.

“Didn’t that hurt?”, asked Levi and slightly touched Erwin’s right shoulder.

“Yes, a lot, but not until later in the hospital”, he answered. Levi nodded and they fell silent for a long moment.  
Erwin thought that this was the moment to ask for Levi’s number when the door suddenly opened and Mike and Nanaba stumbled into the room. Mike had lost his fake breast harness somewhere.

“Oh my goodness.” Erwin jumped on his feet and the lovebirds looked startled at him and Levi.

“Please don’t tell me that you were messing around on my bed.” Nanabas helmet had lost one of its wings.

“Of course not”, answered Erwin baffled.

Mike smiled embarrassed and Levi went to the door. “Nice abs”, he said with a look on Mike’s naked upper body.

Erwin followed him and smiled awkward.  
“Thanks, bro.” Mike patted Erwin’s shoulder and smiled wide. “I have no idea what you were doing in the dark, but keep doing that, but please elsewhere.”  
They heard Levi snorting in the hall and Nanaba laughed. She closed the door after Erwin, not without winking at him.

Levi raised one eyebrow. “Are they always this weird?”

“Yes, but I still love them”, answered Erwin and had to laugh.  
He darted a look to the living room. Petra and Hange were wildly dancing while Nile was lying in a corner and slept despite the loud music.  
“Can you still drive?”, asked Erwin and looked at Levi, who frowned slightly.

“No, why?”

“Have you ever used a telescope? It’s quite nice”, he replied and smiled at him. “But it’s too bright in the city.”

“I see”, said Levi slowly and looked up to him. “Next week?”

Erwin beamed at him. “I would love doing that.”

They fell silent for a moment before Levi reached for the pile of jackets, which were lying in the same corner Erwin had found Mike and Nanaba hours before.  
“I want to go home.”

“I see.” Erwin put his hand in his pocket. “Do you like horror movies?”

Levi froze and frowned. “I fucking love horror movies.”

“Do you, maybe…”, said Erwin carefully. “You know the plan was that Mike and I watch some after the party. We also wanted to order some pizza.”

“I am always a slut for pizza”, answered Levi nonchalant and Erwin chuckled.

“But please let me take this fucking parrot off. I have the feeling it keeps staring at me.” He took it off and grimaced.

“You mean Eugene. Mike named him like that.”

Levi raised his eyebrows and then opened –to Erwin’s surprise- the bedroom door. Erwin heard Mike and Nanaba gasping.  
“Eugene wants to join the fun”, said Levi deadpan and threw the parrot in the dark room. “You should probably lock the door. Have a nice fuck.” He closed the door and looked satisfied at Erwin. “Way better.”

Erwin laughed like he didn’t laughed for years and after some stormy kisses of Petra and Hange they left the party with two colours of lipstick on their cheeks.


	11. Chapter 11

The beast was daunting. It stared at Mike and Erwin and they looked at each other.

“I’m terrified”, admitted Erwin. He was pale. Mike gulped.

“Me too”, he said softly.  
The beast moved slightly and they winced.

“Do something”, pleaded Erwin.

“I- I can’t”, answered Mike silently. “It’s just… I can’t.”  
The beast moved again. It climbed the wall and came nearer and nearer.

Erwin nearly jumped. “We have to call for Levi.”

Mike started sweating. “I don’t wanna. He’s taking a bath… he’s going to get so pissed…”  
They both kept staring at the beast. It was disgusting. His long legs moved a bit. Erwin grabbed Mike’s hand.

“We have to get him…”, said Erwin again.

“Don’t you remember the last time?” Mike looked at him in a fearful way. “He was so angry. He’s so scary, when he’s angry.”

“I know”, answered Erwin. “But… Then catch it.”

Mike looked unbelieving at him. “What? Hell no. Catch it yourself.”

Erwin furrowed. “Please, I am the one with arachnophobia. I am getting nearly a heart attack from just seeing it.” He gave him a puppy-eyed look. “Mike… please.”

Mike looked straight in his baby blue eyes and squirmed.  
“Erwin”, he started. “Please, I do everything for you, but… I can’t. It’s just so disgusting. I mean… look at these legs.”

Erwin cringed violently. “Please, don’t talk about its legs.” He got even paler. “Why did you have to mention its legs?”

“Sorry.” Mike kept holding his hand. “But… I don’t wanna-” He fell silent when the beast started to crawl on the ceiling. “Oh god.”

“Oh god”, agreed Erwin. “What are we-”

And then the beast fell down. They both jumped back and screamed in a way that they would never admit later. The beast fled under the couch and they heard the opening of the bathroom door.

“The fuck?” Levi stood soaked with a towel in the door. “What the hell is going on?”

“A spider”, said Erwin and looked miserable. “It’s huge and gross and we didn’t want to interrupt your bath, but it was so huge and gross and then it fell from the ceiling and now it’s under the couch and it’s so huge and gross and oh my god.”

“It’s so disgusting”, whispered Mike and looked even more pathetic.

Levi stared at them for a solid minute. Then he sighed. “For fuck’s sake.” He sighed again. “You’re fucking killing me.”

He moved the couch and after a few seconds the beast fled in the direction of the wall, but Levi was faster. He caught it with his bare hands and pointed with his elbow on the balcony door. “Open it.”

Mike obeyed and they watched him placing the spider gently in the empty flowerpot next to the sun lounger. Then he closed the door carefully.  
“I’m going to get fucking angry, if my bathwater is cold now.” He started leaving, but he stopped at the door. “I wanna have a hot chocolate after my bath. And I choose the movie tonight.”

“Everything you want, dear”, said Erwin sheepishly.

“Of course”, agreed Mike ruefully.

Levi closed the bathroom door with a quiet snorting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long writing hiatus. 4 weeks ago a family member had a road accident and died and I have very much to do for university. It's so chaotic right now.   
> I'll try to post more often.   
> Thank you very much and feedback is appreciated :)))


End file.
